Oh, The Places You'll Go

Does anyone know how to get pictures from facebook up on your blog?  I feel bereft without photos of my family making periodic appearances here.
Things are at an odd place.  Odd for many reasons.  Unsettling.  I'm considering opening up a private blog to unload some of those.  But then I wonder if I should "unload?"  Is that just a handy veneer for "complain?"  A thing I'm commanded not to do?  Anyway, opening up my blog and seeing my beautiful children's faces always was grounding, fortifying for me.  Seeing as financial relief is nowhere in sight, we will not be purchasing a new home computer in the foreseeable future, so I will be on this laptop.  I'm getting better at maneuvering on this thing, but still can't figure out the pictures.  There must be a way.
Back to the financial part.  The master did not pass his state board exams.  At least we are 90% sure he did not.  That means that his salary will not double at the end of this month as it would have had he passed.  From a purely human standpoint, we NEEDED his salary to double.  I don't see a way out of this place we are at, but I will keep looking.
We were called to Houston, Friday.  Levi's birthmother was very ill.  Actually, we feared she might die.  We had not had any contact from her since before Christmas.  Our cards were returned with the note, "No such person at this address," and our text went unanswered.  We feared, like so many open adoption placements, our contact with her had fizzled out.  On Wednesday morning early, Levi stood for the first time.  My first impulse was to grab the phone and text her.  But there was nowhere to send my text.  I got  the kids dressed and went out to do my shopping.  It was a cold, wet morning.  And she was weighing heavy on my heart.  Did she have shelter?  Was she fed?  She should know that he stood up today.  It is something I know she would want to know. Where was she?
I came home from the trip to find an email from our agency.  God was about to answer all of my questions.  She was in a hospital, well fed, but sick.  Of course, I wanted to come see her, but agency didn't know if she would be open to our seeing her that way.  When they mentioned our offer to visit she broke down crying, saying that she had been praying that God would send us to see her. She is better now.  Maybe out of the hospital.  We don't know.  She doesn't have a phone right now.  She was overjoyed to see Levi--that he was strong and healthy.  She picked my brain about him.  There was a man there in the room with her.  Her new "boyfriend."  (Pimp?) A Latino gangster.  Of course, he didn't introduce himself that way, but that's what he was.  Exactly like the one who tried to have her killed nine months ago, and the hired hit man who left her badly beaten instead of dead.  An attack which caused ongoing infections (that still might claim her life) and precipitated the birth of my son.  Why?  Why doesn't she get out?  Why doesn't she stop the cycle?  I want Levi to know her.  She is so sweet and optimistic; I can't help but wonder how she came to the place she is.  Doubtful that I will ever be close enough to her to ask.  Oh, Lord, I'm sick with worry for her.
On a lighter note: Never thought I'd be sitting in a hospital room with my husband, my son, his birthmother and a gang banger having a pleasant conversation as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  And I bet they never thought they'd be doing the same with a Baptist pastor and his wife.  Makes me smile to think of it.

The Happiest Place on Earth

At the most wonderful time of the year. We are on our way to Florida at a high rate of speed. Some of you may remember that our reward for getting out of debt was a trip to Disney World. Sadly, this is not THAT trip, but, happily, my sister wanted to give this trip to our family for Christmas, so she financing around 85% of our holiday vacation. You can't beat that! This is my third visit America's fun capital--I went as a teen in the summer, in 2006 (7 months pregnant) in the spring, and can't wait to see what a Christmas visit is like. It is just eight of us speeding down the interstate. After much internal see-sawing, I agreed to leave Levi with his Ne-Ne (very dear sister from church) and Grandma. Levi, for all of his many virtues, is a terrible traveler. He will not remember it, and I would spend a good portion of my day sitting on a bench trying to figure out how I was going to heat the next bottle. Blech! But it will be the longest I have ever been away from any of the kids (with the exception of Rina)while still in their infancy, and I will miss him horribly. I know better than to think He will miss me. He will be too greatly spoiled.

Levi: Five Months

Today's update to agency director:

Dear Jan,

It gives me great pleasure to send this update to you!! Enclosed you will find a few pictures and our check for $_____—the balance due on Levi’s adoption fees. It didn’t take us ‘till he was thirty after all! Excited that now we can start moving toward finalization!
Now for the update part of this update: Levi is five months old and weighs somewhere between 16 and 17 pounds. He has some adorable, kissable rolls. He is hitting all of his developmental markers right on schedule. He laughs, babbles, grasps toys, and moves anything he gets his chubby little fingers directly into his mouth. He can roll over both ways and is oh, so close to being able to sit unsupported. I think he could do it now, except he becomes mesmerized by his toes and as soon as he grabs hold of them, he does an automatic face plant. As the photos show, he has some wild and crazy hair that just makes us giggle—especially when (the master) spikes it up after his bath. His favorite song is “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” and we are all experts now at performing it for his pleasure. We love him to distraction.

Give our love to everyone in the office,



Jessica